Because you'll probably end up getting married one day...

...I found this online and thought I would copy it here. Read it. Memorize it. Print it out and give it to your significant other. I've got other things to add, but this is a GREAT start.

1. Marriage is not easy.

2. Marriage is not a fix - all. If you had problems before, marriage and family do not make things easier. EVER.

3. Marriage is not easy.

You'll hear that from just about everyone. But I think it would also be good if you had some more practical advice, too.

1. Don’t call vacuuming or washing the dishes at your home “chores.” You don’t have chores at your own house. If you call them chores to your wife things won’t go well.

2. Watching television doesn’t count as “spending time together.” Don’t try to take credit for sitting next to your husband during an episode of “Lost.”

3. If your wife or husband has a job that doesn’t allow them to go out to lunch, don’t describe the delicious lunch meeting you had in exquisite detail when you get home. “The Ahi Tuna was almost too fresh, you know? I’ve just never seen it that perfect. It was kind of intimidating it was so delicious. But enough about me, how was your peanut butter & jelly sandwich? How’s chunky peanut butter working out for you?” (Your dad is going to Monterey at the end of this month. He should be paying extra special attention to this one as he treks out west to eat out every night.)

4. If you have kids, don’t ever say that you “have to babysit them” while your spouse goes out. You don’t babysit your own kids. You watch them. Huge difference.

5. Make sure you don’t break into a bad cop/good cop routine. For instance, my wife is better with numbers so she was initially handling the money. But because I am dumb, I started to look at her as the bad cop. I was the fun, “spend it all on glitter and happiness” guy and she was the tyrant that wouldn’t let us spend any. Things got ugly, quickly.

6. Never, ever introduce your spouse at parties as, “this is my first husband” or “this is my first wife.” Although funny, people seem to not like that. Go figure.

7. Don’t buy your wife, who grew up in Georgia and hates snow, expensive snowshoes for Christmas. Really wish someone had told me that one earlier.

8. If your wife loves to walk for exercise, don’t one day say, “So do you think you’ll ever do any real exercising?” Speed walkers have surprisingly limber arms and will windmill them at you in a threatening manner if provoked.

9. Don’t ever call any pair of jeans your wife wears a “really nice pair of mom jeans.”